Sex with Lights On or Off? 10 People Answered Honestly


Sex with Lights On or Off? 10 People Answered Honestly

Prior to anything sweet, we want to begin with a simple task. Visualize your idea of an ideal session eating pizza with your partner in bed, naked! So sex with lights on or off?

Do you like those natural sun rays illuminating parts of your bed, or do you like the room pitch dark? Does seeing every inch of your partner’s body clearly turn you on, or does the sensation of skin-on-skin in a dim room do it for you?

We asked 10 people what rocks their “Chindobili” a cut above when triggered to be “Palunyungo“. And here’s what they had to say…

Women’s answers

1) “Lights off. I’m a mom, and I don’t think seeing my kids toys all around the floor is very stimulating. With the lights on, I’m easily distracted. My husband and I barely get time together… So when we do, we ensure we maximise the focus and fun factor.” – Thandiwe Phiri, 37, Ndola.

2) “Lights on. I’m extremely comfortable with my physicality even though I may not look like a perfect 10 in bed. But then again, barely anyone does. I used to be someone who enjoyed sex with all the lights off, but when I realised that it was only because I felt my partner would judge me, I let go of that. If you’re having sex with someone who is going to scrutinise your body, you shouldn’t be. So no matter how much you weigh—whether you’re skinny or plump… Confidence is key!” – Ruth Mwamba, 34, Lusaka.

3) “Lights off! It just makes for a more romantic and passionate mood. It’s hard for me to imagine having sex in a lit-up room with white, bright lighting. That just feels a bit cold and un-sexy to me. Is un-sexy even a word? – Prudence Chileya, 31, Lusaka.

4) “Definitely, off! I’m quite shy with the lights on, and even though it’s something I’ve tried several times, sex with the lights off has always been a better experience for me. So personally, I think my partner would not agree, though!” – Christina Nachilima, 36, Solwezi.

5) “Lights off! It’s more sensual.” – Mercy Nsonga, 31, Ndola.

Men’s answers

6) “Lights off! It’s just more romantic and helps you get into that mood. I don’t understand how people can have sex in broad daylight or with all the lights on. I can understand if it’s just a dim light, you know? There’s a reason they call it ‘mood’ lighting!” – Richard Nkole, 31, Kitwe.

7) “Lights on or off, do men really care? I really don’t think so. For us, sex is sex. If two people are in the mood and share a good bond, it doesn’t matter much. I have had one or two experiences when my partner had told me to dim the lights, then I did it. So it’s not a big deal.” – Aaron Chifuntu, 28, Mkushi.

8) “Lights off. I’ll tell you why—this is because my girlfriend is more wild with the lights off. She gets conscious with the lights on, which is not good for her or me. I’m okay with whatever makes the other person comfortable and free.” – Moses Katanga, 30, Mansa.

9) “Lights on. Men are more visual, I think. So it’s turning on to watch your woman.” – Mawere Frankline, 28, Luanshya.

10) “Sex with lights on. It’s just more visually appealing. Sex in the dark can also be fun, but not complete darkness, I’d say.” – James Meleki, 30, Chingola.

Let’s Have a Sex Smack-down: Lights On or Lights Off?

Let’s be real, sex is great either way. That doesn’t mean they don’t both have their advantages and potential drawbacks!

Lights On

Biggest pro:

You get an eyeful of things that will turn you on even more. Seeing each other naked can be visually stimulating. The lights being on allows you to see anything and everything that may help you become more aroused. And so you get a front-row seat to every bite of his lip and every surprised smile at whichever new trick you’ve added to your arsenal.

Biggest con:

If you’re not totally comfortable with how your body looks during sex, you might feel like there’s a spotlight highlighting your flaws. Being so preoccupied with the negative makes it almost impossible to enjoy the positive, namely the mind-bending orgasms.

You can get over body insecurities by focusing instead on what you and your partner like about your body. By tuning in to the positive, you’ll be able to overcome any shame or inhibitions you might feel due to your appearance.

Lights Off

Biggest pro:

Hello, sensory deprivation! Cutting off one sense can help enhance the others, so when you make it impossible to see anything, you boost your remaining senses. No wonder things can feel so much more stimulating in the dark! Plus, it’s great if you haven’t quite conquered body concerns.

So having the lights off can help you let go and avoid getting caught up in thoughts about your physical appearance.

Biggest con:

Sometimes what you want is to see all the glory of everything you’re doing. In those moments, going at it with the lights off might make you feel disconnected from your partner because you’re missing out on that aspect.

If you’re strictly a lights-off woman or having, the lights on always gives you a thrill, may we suggest mixing it up if you don’t already? Adding a new element always helps keep things exciting. And if there’s a time when you want them off, and your guy wants them on, or vice versa, meet in the middle and light a bunch of candles. The light is low enough to be seriously flattering, but you still get to see all the action. Best of both worlds!

So do you prefer sex with lights on or lights off? Or do you switch it up a lot?