13 types of toxic friends that you need to get rid of now: A healthy friendship should feel like a safe space where you can be yourself, share your inner thoughts and feelings, not feel worried about judgment, and overall feel lifted up rather than put down.
Friendships are complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don’t feel right anymore, ending it could be the last thing on your mind. And this is why we have brought out this article of the 13 types of toxic friends that you need to get rid of now to light.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have ups, downs, and straight-up fights with your besties. At least some degree of conflict is inevitable, especially the closer you are to someone. If you’re addressing these conflicts constructively, you should expect the same level of respect and communication back.
Here are the 13 types of toxic friends you should get rid of immediately
1. The friend who never reaches out to you
You’re the one who always makes the call to hang out, and when your friend does answer your texts (which does not happen often), it always feels as if they’re doing you a favor.
2. The friend who judges you for your goals
Your friends should call you out when you’re making mistakes. But there’s a big difference between how you feel when your best friend is giving you solid advice, and how you feel when a pal is judging you and your dreams. Reality checks are often needed, but when the response to your big dream is “ew, why would you want to do that? you’ll know you deserve more thoughtful support.
3. The “I’m Just Being Honest” friend
You are clingy in relationships, and they tell you not to be worried about your partner. Shutting down your emotions when you try to talk about them. Your pal might be telling you things with grains of truth, but that’s never the full picture.
4. The friend who doesn’t respect your boundaries
If you have that one friend who always facetime you late at night even when you’ve told them you’re going to bed, they might not be respecting your boundaries. You may have to take the leap of communicating your boundaries to your friends first and enforcing them.
5. The friend who gaslights you
If your friend constantly implies that everything’s your fault in a friendship, it might be time to call gaslighting what it is and bounce. Listen to their actions instead of their words if they’re treating you like crap while telling you how much they care about you.
6. The friend who doesn’t respect your time
I’m not talking about the friend who lives with chronic pain. And sometimes needs to change plans because they’re having a flare-up. I’m talking about the friend who is always three hours late without texting or offering an apology, or the friend who constantly leaves you hanging without confirming or cancelling plans, leaving you in a perpetual state of limbo as to what the deal is. You don’t have to play that limbo game because you really can set the bar higher.
7. The friend who never asks how you are
It takes them an hour and a half of talking about me, myself, and I finally ask how you are. You really do want to hear about their job, but you just wish they’d give you the same emotional space in return. A friendship is supposed to be a two-way street, after all. If you’ve tried explaining to them that you need more attention in the relationship. And they haven’t changed their behavior (even if they apologized and said they heard you), they might just be waving ye old red flag.
8. The friend who is only your friend when it’s convenient
Maybe they’re in between datefriends, or they’re in town and need a place to crash, even though they haven’t answered your texts in months. If you feel like they’re not exactly using you, but they’re only a strong presence in your life when they don’t really have anything else going on, it’s reasonable to start to wonder if you need them in your life at all.
9. The friend who doesn’t respect your identities
You’re stoked to introduce your inner circle to your new girlfriend, but they say you’re just “going through a phase.”They might tell you that you “talk about race too much” or that you’re “too sensitive” to people’s ableist jokes. Maybe you’ve been best friends since you were kids, so they say they’re really used to your old pronouns and name. But if they use your identity to diminish or belittle you, or make zero effort to understand you, they are definitely not a person you need in your life.
10. The friend who makes you feel like a loser
Sure, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” but also… sometimes people are just jerks. It’s one thing if they got a promotion, and you’re so happy for them, but it reminds you that you’re not quite where you want to be yet. It’s completely another situation when your pal celebrates themselves by putting you down, constantly implying (or even directly saying) that they’re the smartest and most successful person in the room.
11. The friend who is only around when they need something
Sure, you might text them or see them often enough, but they only seem to be fully present with you when they need something. Whether it’s venting about the ex they saw over the weekend, you always seem to be there for them while they’re always busy when you need help processing a work crisis of your own. You deserve more reciprocity than that.
12. The friend who guilt trips you
Ask yourself if you feel dismissed, ignored, judged, negative energy in the space, or as if you’re walking on eggshells to avoid conflict with someone. If you have that buddy who guilt trips you for asserting your boundaries or communicating your needs, these symptoms of a bad friendship are likely to pop up everywhere. “I would have invited you to my birthday party, but I know you’re so depressed all the time” is a great way to make you feel guilty. Take away your choices, and delegitimize your mental health needs, all in one painful text. If “guilt trip” isn’t on your list of dream destinations, saying goodbye is more than acceptable.
13. The friend who violates your trust
You want to be able to tell your best friend about that fight you and your partner had, including the parts where you kind of messed up. You certainly expect those conversations to remain private because they promised you it would. But when you hear from the cousin of a friend of your bestie’s roommate that you’re being a total jerk in your relationship. You’ll definitely be reevaluating what to share with them in the future (if you two have a future at all).