The principles to be considered when choosing a partner, according to the Holy Scriptures, are the following:
- “And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among
|Part of God’s people|
whom I dwell, but thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” Genesis 24:3, 4. The future husband or wife must be part of God’s people.
- “O Lord… I pray thee, send me good
|Present the matter to God in prayer|
Prayer is very important when asking God to prepare the way to meet the right person.
- “And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: [let the same be] she [that] thou hast
appointed for thy servant Isaac …” Genesis 24:14. In order to know a person it is important to observe his character and personality.
- “And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
- “…And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw [water], and drew for all his camels.” Genesis 24:18, 20. Analyze the person’s behavior and objectively watch the main reactions.
- “And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not.” Genesis 24:21.
|Present impressions before God|
The decision must be hurried simply for a good impression or a correct action realized on the part of the person in consideration, but one should wait for more signs coming from God.
“Whose daughter [art] thou? … is there room [in] they father’s house for us to lodge in ?” Genesis 24:23.
|Information about the family|
Other aspects to be considered are the person’s family, his relation to the church and his disposition to continue helping.
“… I [am] the daughter of Bethuel… We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.” Genesis 24:24, 25. It is very important to see the person’s relation with the
|Observe personal behavior and relation with the family|
church, his personal attributes, or personal features of character as generosity,kindness, and promptness to help.
“And the man bowed down his head, and worshiped the Lord.” Genesis 24:26.
It is important to keep calm, be objective and constant communication with God.
“And the damsel ran, and told [them of] her mother’s house these things.” Genesis 24:28.
|Communication at home|
Very important are the unity within the family, the relation at home and the reverence due to parents.
“… have told mine errand…” Genesis 24:33
|Communication with the family|
The steps to follow to communicate intentions to parents, tutors or members of the family must be faced in accordance with the following lineaments.
“And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.” Genesis 24:49.
|Expect and respect the opinion of the family|
Parents and family members must give their opinion about the relationship.
“… The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.” Genesis 24:50.
|Family acknowledges divine guidance|
If God’s guidance is acknowledged in everything and there has been constant prayer, the answer of holy parents will be positive.
“And it came to pass, that, when Abraham’s servant heard their words, he worshiped the Lord, [bowing himself] to the earth.” Genesis 25:52.
|Communication with God|
At this level, it is of vital importance to remain in communion with God.
“…We will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth… And she said, I will go…” Genesis 24:57, 58.
|Consult the person involved|
One of the decisive points in this process is to consult the person involved.
“And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide:… “Genesis 24:63.
|Constant relation with God|
Prayer before starting a relationship, during, and up to the end must be a need and a principle.
“… It [is] my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself.” Genesis 24:65.
|Respect and modesty|
Reservedness, modesty, respect, purity and innocense must characterize the incipient relationship.
“… took Rebekah, and she became his wife…” Genesis 24:67.
Then, the step of marriage will be taken, as a bond of love under the divine blessing.
In the Holy Scriptures, the times of courtship before engagement is considered as a happy period and it is thus presented in the following verses:
“Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold king Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the gladness of his heart.” Songs 3:11.
“Go and cry in the ears of Jerusalem, saying, Thus saith the Lord; I remember thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, in a land [that was] not sown.” Jer. 2:2.