When men go through a tedious break-up, they might seem happy and distracted, but that’s really far from the reality that’s hit them.
While masking feelings is a common talent, it’s not always possible for them to hide their feelings, and no matter how much they deny it, they go through a rough time after bidding farewell to their relationship.
Or rather, they go through some definite stages after a breakup that finally leads them to move on from their previous relationship.
Stage 1: Attending to ego
Men usually have a big ego that’s suppressed in the relationship for most of the time, but when it’s all over, their ego bursts up. They retreat into their own world and take their time understanding several aspects of the breakup. They are usually very irritated and frustrated during this time.
Stage 2: Out socialising
Men will prefer to socialize with other people and have fun in order to forget about the breakup as much as possible. They can’t process the pain as women do, and so they try to brush it off. Socialising helps them forget about the pain for a little while only, even though they are more likely to remain hurt for the rest of the day.
Stage 3- Realisation Dawns Slowly
According to a research conducted by the University of Texas, the core understanding of a break-up comes from the fact that you are truly alone, and once the realisation dawns upon a man going through a break-up, he begins to do things that completely alter and change his state of mind. He begins to look for happiness again. But for that to happen, it’s important to realise that he’s emotionally weak and alone at that moment.
Men will do anything to honour their egos. They will put on a poker face and meet their friends, they’ll flirt and distract themselves with other women, they’ll get laid and drown themselves at work. But with all this happening, sometimes they will realise that they’re going too fast, and they haven’t given themselves time to heal. That’s when the real healing will begin – the moment they realise they need it.
Stage 4: Anger & Sadness
Now that stage 3 is over and a certain amount of realisation has occurred, everything is questioned since. From the reason to the break-up to what led to it, everything comes into serious questioning, and that can lead to a lot of anger and sadness at the same time because you’re confronting something you’ve probably swept under the rug for far too long! So, it’s okay to vent out your feelings to yourself if no one else does and realise what you went through, through your anger and sadness. It’s actually you coming to terms with the break-up.
Stage 5: Initial Acceptance
This is the stage where men completely accept the fact that they have broken up with the person they loved, and now there is no other option than to move on. This stage is also accompanied by anger and sadness against everything as men resort to questioning every motive in their life.
Stage 6: Gaining The Trust & Redirecting Hope
This stage helps you gain all the lost trust you bestowed upon yourself and another person. It helps you re-analyse your wants and your needs once again and try to find your way through the playing field again. The hope is a certainty of the fact that you can do without your ex and that you’re going to take every step forward to break away from the previous tie and move on to something more suited for you. This is an important stage, and it takes a while to gain that trust to do everything all over again. So, it’s important to have tons of patience during this time.
Stage 7: Romance, once again
This stage comes a lot later for some men or quite early for others. This is when a man becomes sure of dating someone again or is probably very comfortable rocking the single life. This is also a time when they no longer harbour thoughts about the former relationship.
The 7 stages are important to understand only because they’re deep-rooted and psycho-analysed to understand one’s behavioural pattern while going through a trauma. Of course, it doesn’t last forever, but what’s important to remember is that everyone comes out alive and somewhat scar free if you religiously go through these 7 stages and help yourself consciously to come out of the grief.