10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup and Move on from your Ex

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10 Ways to Get Over a Breakup and Move on from your Ex

How to get over a breakup and move on from your ex

Going through a breakup is the best time to rebrand yourself. You can be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, and try anything you want to try without having to consider anyone but yourself.

When you’ve had your heart broken, it’s tough to find ways to move on. You may find yourself thinking about the person day and night, wondering what you could have done differently and wishing for a reconciliation.

Everything you’ve counted on and known until now is suddenly gone after a breakup. Your life plans, your hopes, your dreams and a part of yourself feel utterly lost.

Losing someone who was consistent in your life, it can be easy to dwell on the past instead of looking at what your future self can bring to the table. Completely understandable.

At times, you may worry that you’ll always be alone or that you’ll never be able to fall in love again.

However, there are practical ways to get over a breakup, and you can be happy again; so, here are the 10 things you can do to speed up the healing process:

1. Accept whatever you feel.

Realize that the “withdrawal” you are going through is akin to withdrawal from cocaine addiction. Practice kindness, empathy and compassion with yourself.

2. Get rid of the relationship reminders.

That includes pictures, cards and letters, gifts. If you don’t want to throw them out, give it to a friend to hold for you.

3. Treat yourself

Do something that makes you feel better. It might be watching a favorite movie, ordering takeout or eating your way through a tub of ice cream. However, avoid self-medicating with drugs or alcohol.

4. Try to view the breakup as a chance for a new beginning.

Clean, clear and organize your personal space. As you let go of the old, you are creating space for the new things to come.

5. Keep recalling that happiness isn’t dependent on your ex.

Focus on finding happiness in other areas of your life. Whether that means spending time with your friends and family or signing up for that class you’ve always wanted to take, try new adventures.

6. Keep a journal.

Write down all the things that were wrong with the relationship and the things that used to irritate you, especially when it is tempting to remember the relationship with rose-tinted glasses.

7. Focus on being in the present.

Every time you start obsessing about your ex, stop, ground yourself in the present by feeling your feet on the ground, listening to your breathing, being aware of the sights, smells and sounds around you.

8. Rearrange your home.

Get rid of all those bad memories. “A new look creates space for new memories. Out with the old, invite the new,” recommends Dr. Mclee Tembo, creator and founder of The Zambian Face.

9. Block them from your Instagram/Snapchat.

If the temptation to see if they’ve been paying attention to your stories is too much, just block them. This way, when you do start to get out there and share your day-to-day activities again, you’ll know there’s zero part of you that’s performatively “acting over it” in the hopes your ex will see it.

10. Don’t shit-talk your ex too much.

Sure, it feels good to trash-talk your ex with your besties, and hearing that you were better than them from the start feels like a drug, but don’t rely on it.

Hearing your friends bring down someone who made you feel shitty feels like it should be justified in the grand karmic scheme of things, but your health and happiness need not be contingent on someone else’s pain and suffering.

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