9 Relationship deal breakers that you shouldn’t tolerate
Relationship deal breakers or deal breakers in relationships? In this article, you will learn nine deal breakers in a relationship that you shouldn’t tolerate.
Deal breakers are factors to consider when deciding whether to follow through with something or not. They’re those little things that make you say “I’m done!” Not even when you really love someone or you’ve been together forever.
Although, no relationship is perfect — but having a list of relationship deal breakers is actually a healthy way to protect yourself from toxic situations.
Don’t get caught up in controlling, hurtful, and potentially dangerous relationships. Here are nine relationship deal breakers that you should seriously consider when deciding whether or not your lover is actually worth your time.
1. They’re unbelievably selfish
We’re all selfish from time to time, but some people take it too far.
If you feel like you’re giving your all to your spouse, and all they’re doing is taking, focusing on themselves, and taking advantage of your kindness, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.
Don’t spend a second longer with a selfish narcissist. Trust me, it isn’t worth the headache.
2. They’re always jealous
Healthy jealousy is totally cool when it inspires couples to treat each other better and not take one another for granted.
However, controlling, hack-your-Facebook-and-demand-your-phone-password jealousy should never be tolerated. This is a sign of insecurity and can quickly develop into dangerous or abusive behavior. It’s better to get out before it reaches that point.
3. You’re always fighting
Do you feel as if you and your spouse always argue? Sure, even happy couples argue, but constantly arguing with a partner is one of our relationship deal breakers because it shows that you have poor communication skills.
Communication is everything when it comes to a healthy, happy relationship. Couples need to be able to talk to each other in order to build empathy, resolve problems, and get closer. This means addressing problems as they arise, not letting them sit and turn into huge fights down the line.
4. You don’t share values
You may think that opposites attract — and that’s true! Yes— but that doesn’t always mean they make the best partners.
If you are passionate about your politics or your faith, and your spouse has opposing beliefs that upset or anger you, it could mean that your relationship wasn’t meant to be.
If you’re going to be in a relationship with someone with opposing values, be aware that it will take a great deal of time to work through how you talk about and handle those things. And if you simply don’t have the patience or desire to do so, it’s time to walk away.
5. You don’t feel good about the relationship
Do you feel good about being around your partner, or do you get knots when you think about hanging out together?
Do you get anxiety when you think about your relationship?
Does your partner make you question your self-worth?
If so, something inside you is probably screaming: “This relationship isn’t right!” There is definitely something to be said for gut instinct when it comes to deciding whether or not to stay with someone.
If your gut is telling you something is off in your relationship, there probably is.
6. Your partner isn’t faithful
When it comes to cheating, put your foot down immediately. Don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak. If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, both parties should be respecting that decision.
Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, sexually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.
If your partner doesn’t love and respect you enough to stay faithful, dump them. They aren’t worth your time.
7. You’re a secret
If you find out that your spouse hasn’t told their friends or family about you, run for your life! Because being a secret means one of three things.
- They are already in a relationship, and you are the side piece.
- They can’t commit.
- And they are embarrassed by you.
Your time is valuable and shouldn’t be wasted being with someone who would rather keep you as their dirty little secret.
8. They fight dirty
There are times when we’ve all said stupid things in the heat of an argument, but there’s a difference between getting caught up and using a disagreement as an excuse to be a complete jerk.
If, during an argument, your partner or spouse:
Brings up past experiences with the intention of hurting your feelings
Calls you rude or degrading names
Gaslights you to make you feel crazy
Attacks you instead of the issue
Uses the silent treatment
Then you should consider walking away.
Healthy relationships are about open communication and fair conflict resolutions — not about seeing who can hurt the other more.
9. You want different things
Sometimes, even if you really love each other, your relationship game just isn’t meant to work out.
He wants East Coast, you want West.
She wants to save money, you want to spend.
He wants kids, you’re fine riding as a duo.
Even if you get along well, these fundamental differences in your goals and where you see your lives going are going to cause serious resentment problems if you don’t address them soon.
Life is far too short to spend it with someone who isn’t worth your time. If your spouse is controlling, annoying, or won’t seem to give you the time of day, it’s time to call it quits! This is obviously a difficult decision to make, but your future self will thank you when they’ve found someone who is better for them.