Secrets Men Will Never Tell you in Relationships
Secrets! You may think you know everything about men. But there’s a lot more to the man in your life than meets the eye. Like a lot more. Unlike women, men don’t express their emotions as freely, so sometimes it’s difficult to decipher what they’re truly feeling.
When they constantly have their game face on, and they refuse to wear their hearts on their sleeve, they can sometimes send wrong signals to the women in their lives. And sometimes they don’t even know they are doing it.
But gone are the days when you had to sit, wonder about it and try to figure out what he was thinking and how he was feeling. Guys are definitely complex, but when it comes to cracking their internal code, we’ve done all the dirty work for you.
We’ve done some research to help you so that you don’t have to do any digging around. These thoughts have ran through your guy’s mind at some point during your relationship, but he would never admit it to you.
You always want to make sure that you promote healthy communication in the relationship. But sometimes, you have to do your homework when it comes to figuring men out.
That might not be the most natural thing in the world to do on your own. And that’s why articles like this are designed to help you out.
22 Secrets Men Will Never Tell you in Relationships
If you are having trouble navigating the feelings of men, you can always refer to the top 22 secrets men will never tell you in relationships listed below:
1. He Still Wants to Have his Alone Time
He still wants to be able to spend time on his own. It doesn’t matter how in love he is with you. It doesn’t matter that you’re both in a happy and stable relationship. He is still going to want to have his alone time. After all, he is still a human being. Also, he’s entitled to be on his own. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you. But enjoying the time he gets on his own is part of him engaging in self-love.
2. He Thinks you’re too Good for Him
You may be completely gaga over the guy you’re currently dating, and you’re not afraid to show it. You answer his text messages within 1.5 seconds, you never turn him down for a date, and when the two of you are together, you can’t help but feel all giddy inside. And you definitely show your feelings for him naturally, but you’ve been wondering if he feels the same way about you.
Well, we have some good news. Although he may never express himself in the same way as you do, it’s quite likely that you’re guy is completely head over heels in love with you. In fact, he may think you’re so awesome that he’s starting to wonder if maybe you’re too good for him.
Guys deal with insecurities, too, and if you’re awesome, beautiful and intelligent to boot, you may cause a little bit of doubt to creep up in him. He’ll wonder how he got so lucky to snag a girl like you!
3. It’s Important to him That his Friends Like you
If he loves you, he is always going to make you feel as if you are enough for him. However, he’s still going to secretly hope that you do everything that you can to get his friends to like you. To him, their opinions matter.
4. He Obsesses Over your Ex
When the two of you met, you probably went through all of the gory details about your past relationships. Even though he realizes your ex was a jerk and you’re completely over him, that doesn’t stop him from obsessing. His obsession may play out in various ways, like him thinking non-stop about you and your ex being intimate, and wondering if you looked at your ex the same way you look at him.
Even if your guy trusts you, he’s a man, and he knows how men operate. He’s probably on pins and needles waiting for your ex to pop back into your life. He may even think that your ex still holds a special place in your heart, and one text or phone call will cause you to dump him for your ex.
If you suspect your guy is a little too obsessed with your ex, calm his fears by making sure he knows that your ex is history, and he’s the only guy for you!
5. He gets Insecure Every Once in a While
He may build himself up to be a man of confidence and self-assuredness. However, he can still have individual insecurities and fears as well. He’s only human, and he knows that he isn’t perfect. Regardless, he is going to try his best to hide these insecurities and fears from you. He doesn’t want to show weakness towards you.
6. He Still Thinks About His Ex
On the flip side, your guy still thinks about his ex, too. The depth of his thoughts depends on various factors, so let’s go ahead and break them down.
He Was Dumped: If he was the one that was dumped, he may still hold a grudge against his ex. If he was completely in love with her and she broke his heart, it may change his ideas about women and relationships in general. He may convince himself that if his ex came back into his life he would never give her a second chance, but you can never be too sure in these situations.
He Was the Dumpee: If he was the one who ended things with his ex-girlfriend, you’re still not in the clear. And he may still think of her on occasion, and he could still be holding on to some guilt if he was the one who broke her heart. He may even consider being platonic friends with her, but he knows that will open up an entire can of worms that he’s just not ready to deal with.
No matter the situation, just know that his ex is definitely on his mind, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to throw everything away to get back with her.
7. He gets his Feelings Hurt too
Even though he tries his best not to show it, he still gets his feelings hurt too. Granted, he is a guy, and society always pressures him to keep his opinions to himself. However, there will be times when he wants to break down as a result of his feelings.
8. He Stalks your Social Media
You think women are the only ones who stalk social media accounts? Wrong! Your guy frequently goes through your previous pictures on Instagram and your status updates on Facebook when the two of you are apart and missing each other. He’s not doing it to be a creep, he’s simply doing it to see all the pictures of your beautiful face and to get a sense of what you were like before he came into your life.
He will never admit to getting his creep on, but it’s pretty easy to find out if he has been lurking on your social media profiles. If he double taps on an Instagram picture from 84 weeks ago, it’s pretty obvious he was getting his creep on. And if he brings up something from two years ago that you never told him, but coincidentally enough you posted it as a status update on your Facebook, well, there’s your confirmation that he has definitely been checking up on you. Consider it a compliment.
9 He has Lied to you, and he will Continue to do so
Everyone lies. And that’s okay. Admittedly, we all try to preach honesty and openness in a romantic relationship. However, there are just some things that are better left unsaid. And concealing the truth is still a form of lying. But that’s not always going to be a bad thing. Some facts need to be hidden away because they can only bring harm. And he’s not going to admit to you whenever he finds himself having to lie to you.
10. He Gets Nervous When you Don’t Text Back
You know that feeling that you get when you text your boyfriend and he doesn’t text back for two hours? You wonder if maybe he decided to take a midday nap, or perhaps he’s at the movies with his best gal pal, or maybe he met some other girl and they jetted off to Vegas and got married, or maybe he found out you snooped through his cell phone, so he’s going silent on you instead of officially breaking up.
There are so many reasons why a guy doesn’t text back, but if all else is good in your relationship, this usually isn’t a cause for concern.
Men also get a bit paranoid when they don’t hear from you after awhile. Let’s face it, women’s fingers are faster than a cheetah’s when it comes to replying to our boo’s text messages. Especially when you’re in a relationship, there’s no need to play games and make him wait for a reply. This is why when you let more than half an hour go by without sending him a message, he silently starts to freak out.
A series of worries will float through his head until you put his mind at ease by finally blowing up his inbox.
11. He Still Becomes Attracted to Other Women
He’s a guy. Naturally, he’s still going to notice the attractiveness and beauty of other women. It doesn’t matter how in love he is with you or how strong your relationship might be. However, he’s not going to let you know that he’s attracted to other girls. And this shouldn’t be a problem. It only becomes a problem if he acts on his feelings.
12. He Wants you to Take Control
Men are natural hunters, and they are used to taking control during the courting phase of a relationship. He will make sure to ask you out, plan dates, and he’s usually the one to initiate intimacy. But when the two of you have been together for awhile, he would really like to sit back and allow you to take control from time to time.
After a long day at work or a grueling class schedule on campus, the only thing a guy wants his lady to do is to take the proverbial reins of the relationship and put things in motion. Just for once, he would like you to decide where the two of you eat dinner. He wants you to pick the movie you watch at the cinema, and he wants you to take control in the bedroom. Showing you can be dominate and aggressive every once in awhile can actually put the spice back into your relationship.
13. He Would Prefer you Not Put on so Much Makeup
If he truly loves you with all of his heart, he couldn’t care less about how you look. He would be much more concerned with your character and personality. Therefore, the way that you look wouldn’t be that much of an issue to him. He wouldn’t mind whether you wear makeup or not. He loves you, regardless of how you might look.
However, he doesn’t want to tell you because he fears that you would take it the wrong way.
14. He Loves Chick Flicks
If you’ve ever suggested that you and your boyfriend go see a Jennifer Aniston chick flick, he probably looked at you like you were absolutely nuts. Men will pout, roll their eyes and absolutely refuse to go see a chick flick, but deep down inside, they’re simply putting on a front.
My ex-boyfriend was a big fan of chick flicks, and he was the manliest of men you would ever meet. Sometimes, guys want a break from the war and action-packed movies that they typically watch. Snuggling up on the couch and watching a movie is sometimes appealing when he’s feeling a little sentimental inside.
So the next time your guy absolutely refuses to watch a chick flick with you, just know that he’s probably just pretending to be disgusted by the thought of watching a cheesy movie. If you ask him a few more times, he’ll definitely give in, and he’ll definitely be glad he did so.
15. He Hates Getting Rejected
Men are used to rejection. They are taught to pursue women. So their entire lives, they’re approaching girls and usually getting the cold shoulder more times than they care to remember. Now that he is in a nice and cozy relationship with you, he doesn’t even want to think about all of the rejection he faced during his single days. But every time you reject him, it kills him a little bit inside.
Whether you turn him down in the bedroom or you cancel your Friday night date with him to have a girl’s night with your best friend, your boyfriend may pretend that he’s totally fine with you blowing him off. But sadly, constantly rejecting him will only put a major dent in his self-esteem. He may begin to feel like he’s not good enough for you, and it could really put a strain on your relationship.
If you’ve been rejecting your man lately, make more of an effort to appease him from time to time if you want your relationship to last.
16. He’s Subconscious About His Body
You may think he looks like a Greek god when he takes off his clothing, but he’s probably very self-conscious about his body. If you thought you were the only one who was dealing with body insecurities, stand in line, sister. Men are also very hard on themselves and the way they look.
There are pressures in the media to look a certain way, and beauty standards for men usually include a buff physique that’s not easily attainable.
Every time he takes off his clothes, he’s hoping you don’t notice that extra roll in his stomach, that bit of cellulite on his butt and that double chin he just can’t seem to get rid of. He hopes that his body is good enough for you, and if you were to crack a joke about him gaining a few pounds, it would definitely crush his ego.
Let your guy know that you love him and accept him the way he is, and in time, he’ll begin to feel more confident about his body.
17. He Flirts Behind your Back
As much as you want to believe, your guy is a perfect angel when he’s not in your presence, he’s definitely doing some things behind your back that you may or may not be happy about. When it comes to flirting, most guys see it as harmless.
They sometimes feel the need to flirt just to reassure themselves that they’ve “still got it”. They want to know that they’re still desirable to other women other than their partner, and to test that notion, they will flirt on the side just to boost their ego.
If he’s really in love with you, the flirting won’t go any further than that. He’s definitely not trying to hook up with other women, and he doesn’t plan on leaving you for the girl he winked at on his way to the post office. He’s simply spreading his feathers like a peacock to get some attention from the opposite sex. It’s really no big deal. Let him have his fun, and besides, he’s coming home to you at the end of the day, right?
18. He Doesn’t Mind If you Pay
At the beginning of your relationship, your guy wouldn’t dare to let you pick up the check at the end of the night. As a matter of fact, he would get all ticked off if you even glanced at the receipt. He was the man, he wanted to be in charge, and winning and dining you was something he was more than happy to do to win you over.
But now that the two of you are in a relationship, he doesn’t mind if you pay from time to time. Unless he’s making six-figures, it could get expensive for him to constantly pay for two meals and two movie tickets each time the two of you go out. If you know your guy isn’t making as much money as he would like, offer to pick up the tab from time to time. It shows that you appreciate him, and you’re willing to meet him halfway and go 50/50.
Showing that you’re with him for who he is and not what he has will make him love you even more.
19. He Hates your Guy Friends
He wants you to believe he’s perfectly fine with you having guy friends. I mean, it’s the right thing to do, right? Every time you mention going to play pool with “Josh and the boys”, he sends you off with a big hug and a kiss and tells you to have fun. But as soon as that door closes, he’s all up in his feelings.
He wants to believe that your guy friends are strictly platonic, but he realizes how much of a babe you are, and he knows that at least one of your male friends just has to have a crush on you. This absolutely freaks him out, and he even considers asking you to end your friendships with them. Although he hopes things never get to that point, he can’t help but feel insecure about you spending time with other men who may or may not find you attractive.
20. You Make Him Nervous
When a guy is really falling in love, he can’t help the emotions and feelings that are running rampant inside of him. Although he’s the epitome of cool, calm and collected when the two of you are together, he doesn’t want you to know that you scare him at times.
When things are going really well in your relationship, your guy can start to feel a little nervous about things. He may wonder if you like him as much as he likes you, he may wonder what the future holds for the two of you, and he may contemplate taking your relationship to the next level. These things all cause him to turn into a huge ball of stress and nerves, and it can really cause him to panic.
If you’ve noticed that your guy has been acting strange and a little distant lately, it could be because he’s a tad bit nervous about falling in love with you. Reassure him that you’re willing to take your relationship one day at a time, and that should really help him to keep his nervousness about your relationship at bay.
21. He Worries About Pleasing You
Even though you may think he’s the best you’ve ever had, your guy may be worried that he’s not pleasing you. Intimacy is a big part of a relationship, and sexual chemistry is something that needs to click in order for a man to even consider being in a long-term relationship.
No matter how many times you tell him how great he is in the bedroom, your guy may still feel insecure about his performance. He will wonder if your ex is better than he is, he will wonder if you’re faking it, and he will wonder if you will seek out someone else if he is unable to please you. These are all insecurities that he will have to work through on his own, but you can help him along but reassuring him that you are indeed satisfied with him, and there’s no one else you would rather be with.
22. Your Bestie Is Hot
Sorry to break it to you, but your guy thinks your bestie is hot. We’re not just talking about, “Oh, she’s cute.” We’re talking about, “Wow, the things I would do to her.” But can you really blame him? Your BFF is gorgeous, and on top of that, she’s an amazing person with a good head on her shoulders. What man wouldn’t be attracted to her?
No matter how many times you ask your guy, he will continue to deny that he’s even remotely attracted to any of your girl friends. He knows that if he opens up this can of worms, it will spell dooms day for him and your relationship. So he keeps his feelings on the hush hush.
And besides, it’s not like he would ever make a move on your BFF. He respects you, her, and your relationship far too much to throw everything away by trying to make a move on her.
Just know that he has eyes, and for the rest of his life he will use them to scope out any and all attractive women who come his way. But in the end, he has chosen to be with you, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about!
22 Secrets Men Will Never Tell you in Relationships