How to make a long distance relationship work
Many people believe that a long distance relationship can never work out. Your family may discourage it, and some of your best friends may advise you not to take it too seriously in case you get your heart broken.
Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times.
Long distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too. So, to keep your love alive and strong, here are 10 tips to make your long distance relationship work:
1. Stay honest with each other
Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself.
2. Try to communicate regularly and creatively
Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings.
3. Talk dirty with each other
Sexual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things between couples. Sexual desire is like a glue that keeps both parties from drifting apart. Not only is sex a biological need, it is an emotional one as well.
Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sexual innuendos and provocative descriptions.
4. Have a goal in mind
“What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?” “How long are we going to be apart?” “What about the future?” These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves.
The truth is, no couple can be in a long-distance relationship forever. Eventually, we all need to settle down.
So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal.
It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still motivated to work together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.
That’s right, you need motivation to make a relationship last too.
5. Avoid “dangerous” situations
If you already know that going to the club or drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either not do it or tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her.
6. Do things together
Play an online game together. Watch a documentary on YouTube or Vimeo at the same time. Sing to each other on Skype while one of you plays the guitar. “Take a walk together” outside while video-calling each other. Go online-shopping together — and buy each other gifts.
7. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations
Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.
8. Avoid excessive communication
It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving.”
Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
9. Do similar things
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.
This is good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.
10. Make visits to each other
Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship – after all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things like kissing, holding hands, it is very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships.
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